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Two More Reasons to Hate Neocons

Some asshole at the National Review thinks that he's figured out some great "conservative" rock songs. He has decided that, along with obvious ones like "Sweet Home Alabama" (it is from the South and mocks a Canadian) and "Don't Tread on Me" (America, Fuck Yeah), he could claim songs by THE CLASH and THE BEATLES.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH*. Look assholes, if you think you can claim John Lennon on your side, maybe you better give suck-my-cock a chance.

Y'know what's a great conservative rock song? "Det Som En Gang Var" by Burzum. Doesn't get much more conservative than "That Which Once Was".

An equally asinine shitfuck, this one directly connected to the fucking fuckshit shit cunt administration, thinks that, while the President could not necessarily be legally prohibited from having you buried alive or your child tortured, he thankfully probably will never want to.

To respond to both of these two piles of fetid, week old afterbirth, I will paraphrase a Clash song:

Know your rights! You have a right not to be tortured. Torture is a crime! Unless it is done ... when we feel like doing it!
These are your rights!


*This does not even start to cover the rage and bewilderment that "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Iron Maiden was on the list. No human sounds could cover that one.

Breaking New Ground

John McCain has suggested that, while offshore oil drilling will not have an immediate effect on gas supplies/prices, it's okay, because they will have a psychological impact.

McCain, energy policy, psychological impact. Sound familiar? It should.

The Arizona Senator is seeking to have the first ever presidency that takes place entirely in our minds.

Shit-piss-fuck-cunt-cocksucker-motherfucker-and-tits

The world's greatest socio-lexicographer is dead at 71.

To George Carlin I bid a fond farewell, peace be with you, and may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Oh Sweden

You disappoint me.

Let's Learn Together

Let's learn about Syngnathidae:

Syngnathidae are the biological family to which seahorses, seadragons, and pipefish belong. They are known best for their pregnant males, a feature which appears in today's news! A rare specimen of weedy sea dragon, male, has been found to be knocked-up!

With male pregnancies and funny little dances, syngnahidae might be the most adorable taxonomic designation ever.

The Obama Administration Fantasy League

President: Barack Obama
Vice President: Bill Richardson
Secretary of State: Joe Biden
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Hillary Clinton
Attorney General: THE ENTIRE ACLU!?
White House Press Secretary: Bob Odenkirk

Anything else?

Barack the Vote

Sen. Barack Obama is our candidate now. He has made it through a ridiculous primary season. That is awesome.

If you don't think it is awesome, I invite you to read this story. You'll think it's awesome after that.

Moving Notsofuntimes!

I just moved from Ballard to Fremont. Ballard is better than Fremont in many ways, but I think we can all agree that it lacked three things: a troll, Lenin, and Dusty Strings. Oh, also somewhere for me to move to.

Anyway, here's the best part of the story: Total move in costs for the new place came to $1000 for me. After depositing two checks yesterday, my checking balance was $909 and my savings balance was $90. $999 total. That was awesome.